The Adventures of Sketchy Dude and Fallout Boy

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SX Retired
Joined: 2008/04/21

It all started when our adventure-loving...adventurer, Sketchy Dude, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the eighth time it had happened. Feeling really displeased, Sketchy Dude backhanded a gerbil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Before anyone could take off their pants, he realized that his beloved pizo was missing! Immediately he called his former cellmate, Fallout Boy. Sketchy Dude had known Fallout Boy for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. Fallout Boy was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... dimwitted. Sketchy Dude called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Fallout Boy picked up to a very nervous Sketchy Dude. Fallout Boy calmly assured him that most venomous koalas sigh before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually sassily shudder *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Sketchy Dude. Why was Fallout Boy trying to distract Sketchy Dude? Because he had snuck out from Sketchy Dude's with the pizo only two days prior. It was a eccentric little pizo... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Sketchy Dude got back to the subject at hand: his pizo. Fallout Boy belched. Relunctantly, Fallout Boy invited him over, assuring him they'd find the pizo. Sketchy Dude grabbed his time machine and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Fallout Boy realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pizo and he had to do it skillfully. He figured that if Sketchy Dude took the neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket, he had take at least two minutes before Sketchy Dude would get there. But if he took the time machine? Then Fallout Boy would be really screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Fallout Boy was interrupted by six annoying Care Bears that were lured by his pizo. Fallout Boy sneezed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling worried, he recklessly reached for his live hand grenade and aimlessly stroked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the time machine rolling up. It was Sketchy Dude.


As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at IHOP to pick up a 12-pack of ninja stars, so he knew he was running late. With a skillful leap, Sketchy Dude was out of the time machine and went wildly jaunting toward Fallout Boy's front door. Meanwhile inside, Fallout Boy was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pizo into a box of dull pencils and then slid the box behind his giraffe. Fallout Boy was exasperated but at least the pizo was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Fallout Boy explosively purred. With a heroic push, Sketchy Dude opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some oafish beer-sloshed tool in a spaceship,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Fallout Boy assured him. Sketchy Dude took a seat frighteningly close to where Fallout Boy had hidden the pizo. Fallout Boy sneezed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Sketchy Dude was distracted. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, Fallout Boy noticed a clueless look on Sketchy Dude's face. Sketchy Dude slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Fallout Boy felt a stabbing pain in his prostate when Sketchy Dude asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pizo right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A dimwitted look started to form on Sketchy Dude's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dull pencils from when she used to have pet Indonesian devil cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sketchy Dude nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Fallout Boy could react, Sketchy Dude fearlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The pizo was plainly in view.

Sketchy Dude stared at Fallout Boy for what what must've been seven minutes. Ever so extemperaneously, Fallout Boy groped exotically in Sketchy Dude's direction, clearly desperate. Sketchy Dude grabbed the pizo and bolted for the door. It was locked. Fallout Boy let out a curious chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sketchy Dude,' he rebuked. Fallout Boy always had been a little funny-smelling, so Sketchy Dude knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Fallout Boy did something crazy, like... start chucking live hand grenades at him or something. Heart filled with earnest fortitude, he gripped his pizo tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Fallout Boy looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sketchy Dude. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eleven days never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Sketchy Dude. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Fallout Boy walked over to the window and looked down. Sketchy Dude was gone.


Just yonder, Sketchy Dude was struggling to make his way through the haunted thicket behind Fallout Boy's place. Sketchy Dude had severely hurt his ear during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Care Bears suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pizo. One by one they latched on to Sketchy Dude. Already weakened from his injury, Sketchy Dude yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Care Bears running off with his pizo.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Sketchy Dude's pizo. Feeling stunned, God smote the Care Bears for their injustice. Then He got in His neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket and darted away with the fortitude of 2,000 Indonesian devil cats running from a shrunken pack of spotted wolf hamsters. Sketchy Dude danced with joy when he saw this. His pizo was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eleven minutes his favorite TV show, Judge Judy, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When South American hissing sloths meet bloody glove'). Sketchy Dude was thrilled. And so, everyone except Fallout Boy and a few weapon of mass destruction-toting 3-legged wallabies lived blissfully happy, forever after.