Computer Quotes

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Joined: 2009/07/12

•Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified.
•A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer.
•Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.
•Your "IBM PC-compatible" computer grows more incompatible with every passing moment.
•A program generator creates programs that are more "buggy" than the program generator.
•Each computer code has five bugs, and tis number does not depend on how many bugs have been already found (it is conservative).
•The number of bugs always exceeds the number of lines found in a program.
•Every non-trivial program contains at least one bug.
•Every non-trivial program can be simplified by at least one line of code.
The conclusion of the last two laws: Every non trivial program can be simplified to one line of code, and it will contain a bug.
•An expert is someone brought in at the last minute to share the blame.
•Debugging is at least twice as hard as writing the program in the first place.
So if your code is as clever as you can possibly make it, then by definition you're not smart enough to debug it.
•No matter what problem you have with your computer - Its Always Microsoft's fault
•Computers, huh? I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys
•If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
•The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents
•unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep" - my daily unix command list
•Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are.
•I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
•If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside
•I’ve noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the release of MS-DOS.”
•Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked
•I’ve finally learned what ‘upward compatible’ means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes
•The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry
•That’s the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers.”
•For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match
•A hacker on a roll may be able to produce–in a period of a few months–something that a small development group (say, 7-8 people) would have a hard time getting together over a year. IBM used to report that certain programmers might be as much as 100 times as productive as other workers, or more
•I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing
•Windows NT addresses 2 Gigabytes of RAM, which is more than any application will ever need
•"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
•"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" - Steve Jobs, cofounder of Apple Computer
•'The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose ?' Tom Carey