Amp Blasts: Defcon 23

Disclaimer: The following is intended to be an intentionally ridiculous post parodying internet rage. I hope everybody is able to enjoy this. Also, an actual post on my Defcon 23 experience will be posted shortly after this goes up as beyond this post I wanted to share my genuine thoughts on the event. I apologize for not writing this sooner as well.

I remember in 2000, Badger, Blake, and myself all walked into Defcon for the first time representing SX. It was a hell of an experience and gave us an opportunity to meet like-minded people which is something that due to the locations that the three of us came from, was extremely rare. In my case, I inadvertently became a part of the crew after making some flashwork and starting to write some tutorials so it was an inadvertent fluke which I am more than willing to admit to. Over the years me and Blake continued to attend Defcon, albeit infrequently and after Defcon 23, we both agreed that it fucking sucked.

Let's face it, we both already know that by becoming a bigger event and revamping to be more generally accessible we would face an element of idiocracy. However, it went far beyond what we saw from Defcon 21 and 22 by leaps and bounds. Splitting up the convention between two hotels and having people travel between them amongst non-con attendees was one of the worst decisions that was made by far. What was the thing that was beyond ridiculous though was that they have already confirmed that the same thing will be going on for Defcon 24 despite saying that they would have a better gameplan. I'm waiving a giant brown bullshit flag on this and I am not the only one.

Then there is the fact that the quality of live music at the con itself had nothing short of plummeted. Seriously, I don't know who the fuck thought it was a brilliant idea to bring MC Chris into this event, but that was beyond all levels of fucking retarded. Nerdcore needs to just go away cause it's stupid pandering from people who couldn't cut it when it comes to real rap music. More than that, what the hell is the deal with MC Chris's voice? The only time it ever fucking worked is when he was voicing a goddamn eight foot spider wearing a diaper.

The second worst part is that most of the talks that I attended were nothing short of shit. I'm going to say this upfront, I am not a hacker and I don't want to be called that cause most of my work has always been in educating people in entry level categories. However, when I am able to call bullshit or say that the talk shouldn't have happened then you fucking fail! Last, but not least though, comes the biggest complaint that I had.

I seriously want to know why the fuck I was doing a better job with helping people find shit at Defcon than the goddamn goons? Seriously, whenever somebody asked for help with finding shit, I was always the one who was able to point them to the right direction and the fact is that since many of these goons have more time preparing the event and exploring the grounds, they should have done a better job than how I handled it when all my happy punk ass did was a quick two hour fucking walk on the grounds so that I knew where the fuck to go. It got to such a ridiculous fucking level that Blake and Elena (the person who went to Defcon with me this year) were making jokes about how I should petition them to become a goon for Defcon 24. The end result is that we have people who are considering not going back now unless things get magically unfucked by the goddamn giant flying spaghetti monster!