Blogs

Van Helsing = EPIC FAIL!!!

Well, another year has come and gone, and there are still a ton of movies left for me to hate on. Yes I do know that it has been a while since I've posted on here, but I'm back and ready to open up the proverbial can of whoop ass on some horrible pieces of shit. And today's movie is exactly that, a piece of dog shit that has been covered up in CGI and the names of some classic horror icons.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you....

VAN HELSING!!!!

Vendication....

Ok, I kinda terminated the Rage-o-Holiday Season series preemptively due to time constraints that happened. However, it seems that I have been vindicated in a few respects concerning what I did point out. First, the follow drill after my Marine Corps roast went up things stopped being so nerfed due in part to a voluntary deployment that is pulling a large portion of our detachment. Also, the 3rd post helped halt some people who opted to talk out of their ass instead of spending the 5 minutes necessary to fact check what they say.

Howard and Nester Complete

Howard and Nester are completely uploaded. It's nice to read them to bring back memories, but they're not as funny as I remembered. I guess it's a kid thing. They may be removed in the future if nobody really likes them, I'll have to ask around and see the general response.

Howard and Nester

I recently found an archive of old SX images and such so I've been hard at work uploading them. One of the things that I found (non-SX) was an archive of Howard and Nester. For anybody who doesn't know that this is, it was a comic that used to appear in Nintendo Power. For anybody that grew up in the 80s, Nintendo Power used to be *THE* magazine to have back when Nintendo dominated the console entertainment industry. I will try to get at least one of these uploaded everyday, hopefully everybody will enjoy them as much as I do.

http://www.soldierx.com/images/Image-Galleries/Humor/Howard-and-Nester

The whole comic thing was kind of started when Amp was looking for a certain character named SnowFlame who was a villain powered by cocaine. This caused me to look through many archives and such of my own, and I ended up discovering the Howard and Nester files.

Coming Soon!

Hello everyone in SX land!

'Tis I, Azrael, and I'm letting everyone know that I am still around and that I'm working on a bunch of fresh rants to put out within the next couple of months. First up on the proverbial chopping block, that putrid pile of shit known as Van Helsing. I am currently in the middle of writing that one and hope to have it out soon for you all to enjoy.

The other movies that I plan on doing at some point in the year are as follows:

30 Days of Night
Alexander The Director's Cut
Bloodrayne
Krull
Jason X
The Gate
Halloween 2007
Quantum of Solace

The worst movie this decade......

This is gonna enrage alot of people, but I've decided that I should talk about a film that is extremely polarizing currently. However, I believe that it is one of the worst films to come out this decade and in 5-10 years everybody who did like it will look back and say "What was I thinking?" The film in question is Grandma's Boy. Now, the main reason why I am going after this film is not for obvious things, but rather the fact that it is one of the blandest, unoriginal comedies I have seen. Seriously, every idea that they came up with has been done several times better by other films.

Rage-o-Holiday Season Part 6: Holiday Douches

Ok, part of the reason why I started this series of rants was actually due to the holidays themselves. Personally, whenever I go to any store during this type of year it feels like these holidays are practically rammed down my throat. The one thing about these holidays in particular that people love to pull shit with me about is the whole family issue. For those not in the know, the closest thing I do have to family is RaT and Blake as almost all of my relatives are deceased, incarcerated, or are off the deep end mentally.

Christmas Films: Pompous Cinema!

Ok, some of the worst films that I have had to sit through are seriously holiday films. The reason why I say that is due to the fact that they always have a certain level of pompous bullshit to them. One of the few films that I really liked that was holiday related was A Christmas Story cause that movie people can legitimately relate to. However, the majority of these films are usually shitty rehashes of stories like 'A Christmas Carol' or is full of some pompous family oriented message.

Chrono Trigger DS

Ok, normally I am not easy to impress when it comes to game releases, but Square Enix decided to take the classy route and give this game the port that it deserved for the DS release. For those who own a DS and have never played this before, I recommend checking it out. There is one major downside though that I do have to address. Charging the same price as other new games for what is a port feels rather ridiculous to me. Seriously, most games that get ported to the DS are $20, so the fact that this game is double that is gonna rub some people wrong.

Rage-o-Holiday Season Part 5: College/Pro Sports Douches!

For those who have no knowledge of SX prior to 2002 allow me to explain something. As most people will tell you throughout high school I never did one bit of athletics. More than that I went to a bullshit high school that loved to push it's athletics program out the ass and since I had the distinct displeasure of being in high school right when the Columbine shootings happened anybody who didn't have 'school spirit' or weren't straight A students were treated like bad apples to say the least.

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